TOP CHEF RECAP: Have You Tried The Hurricane Yet? Not Cool, Hosea

This is a recap of supreme Chef Season 5, Episode 13 entitled “If This Is The Finale, How rush at I Barely Give A Sh*t? Part I”, from the start airing February 18, 2008. If you didn’t see the instalment yet, meh, no biggie. Read on.
– Wow, how’d they derive EMERIL LAGASSE to do a television appearance? That boulevardier’s so reclusive, he’s like the J.D. Salinger of chefs! How’d they cool track him down??
– The only funny part of the Quickfire was the slug of Emeril lording over the competition from the sporting house balcony, as though he was gonna snipe the losing chef and screech “Bam!” as the bullet connected. On a tied up note, he made it through the entire incident without saying “Bam” or “another notch.” It was watching a recovering coke addict happily sipping unreservedly urinate in a nightclub.
– Fabio wasn’t in mountain top form last night, but he still had the greatest line of the episode by far:
“My auto is-a piece of……………………………………..pooooooooooooop………”
– Runner-up someone is concerned best line of the night: Stefan, who I think (and I rewound it on DVR twice, provoke I just assumed I was wrong, but I kept believing I heard it), made the excessive declaration “This is not a butt-rubbing debate.”
– Onto the Elimination Challenge… Each judge drank five cocktails? Carla’s was non-dipsomaniac, but I was still hoping that by the result a slightly slurry Emeril would be talking approximately how Padma should “take off more than moral her mask, heh hehh hehhh…” As always, I’m affluent to assumed that this happened verbatim and Bravo curtail it out.
– Real smooth, Hosea, making a ‘twister’ in New Orleans and repeatedly asking people if they inadequacy to try one. Even worse, then he kept common up to people in wheelchairs going “Yo, you lack some crab legs? Seriously, you need some legs, they’re fearsome.”
After the jump, a tearful farewell…
– Carla’s certainly gone from “well-behaved dessert-maker” to “couple lucky weeks” to “legitimately large chef,” putting herself in a great position heading into the ultimate Three. Unless more chefs come back from the deceased, of course. Now I’m hoping that’s the splice next week — Zombie Jeff and Zombie Fabio profit, and the secret ingredient is BRAINS. Or as Zombie Fabio would venture, “You-a could put-a dees brains through monkey ass annit still taste good!”
– I didn’t unusually understand Carla’s quote, “That’s what all the men claim, ‘one second, Honey,’” but if Fabio had said the compel same words I would’ve thought it was the funniest fetish ever, so I won’t judge.
– Oh! a specific more Fabio quote (don’t know why I’m treating this I’m speaking off the cuff, I could easy as pie just cut and paste this up with the other Fabio quotes earlier in the put, but I also loved “Everybody wearing masks - it-a amicable of remind me of an old porno silver screen, those masks.” What old porno movie would that be? Eyes considerable Shut? Mask-F***ers? The Mask with Jim Carrey?
– That being said, of all weeks to beautiful people the fan fave, they chose a week where he to all intents out-cooked Stefan. Stefan’s now sucked it up a only one weeks in a row and is clearly resting on his laurels, but he’ll get to either turn a heartwarming attitude 180 next week or he’ll righteous simply lose — Tommy C isn’t gonna tell someone who isn’t taking the game kidding aside win, no matter how halfassedly good his provisions is. Bravo is still clearly trying to begin up a Stefan/Hosea baldy rivalry showdown in the irreversible even though Carla’s crushed them the persist two weeks.
– Bravo tried to outdo Lost with the non-cryptic secrets - in the preview clips from the finale, Padma says “…and you’re gonna arrange a little help!” and a quick shot of three phantasmagorical figures who are NEVER REVEALED. OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! Who could they be???? perhaps not three previously eliminated contestants from this flavour, as in every Top Chef finale INCLUDING THE anyone LAST NIGHT, right? Guess we’ll have to attend to and see! I can’t even SLEEP!!!!!
FINALE forecast:
Though the momentum may have shifted towards Carla, I suggest Stefan is humbled by his subpar showings from the remain two weeks and actually becomes a sympathetic person, embracing his new role as a semi-scapegoat and thanking the judges and his co-competitors too emphatically en to a victory. Hosea has no chance, specifically once he keeps asking people if they insufficiency to try his Lower Ninth Ward Flood pastry.
Episode thoughts, favorite lines, Fabio mourning, and Finale predictions — hand down ‘em in the comments!

original is here