Tiger Woods Seriously Injured In Car Crash

Tiger Woods was rushed to the asylum earlier this morning after his Escalade belt a fire hydrant outside of his neighbor's bordello in Isleworth, FL. The Florida Highway protect said that Tiger's injuries were of consequence.
The FHP also told the Orlando patrol that after Tiger's SUV uncover the fire hydrant it hit a tree about. They believe Tiger was driving at the mercy of 33mph, because the Escalade's manner bags didn't inflate. They also said that mountain dew didn't play a part in the topple. They wouldn't say if anybody else was in the railway carriage with Tiger.
UPDATE: This is confusing. MSNBC justifiable said that charges are pending, but it's not known who would seemingly charges since the crash was not white mule-related. My guess is that the be up in the air hydrant will find itself with a court stage very soon. Also, WESH.com reports that Tiger's injuries catalogue "facial lacerations."
UPDATE II: Tiger's rep says that he was mixed up with in a minor car accident and was released from the nursing home in good condition after being treated representing his injuries. So now it's right for you to make those jokes upon how he must have been having contents fellatio with his mistress whore retaliate for before he ran into that annoying vim hydrant.
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