Lindsay Lohan Keeps Getting Jank Ass Monitoring Anklets

BREAKING (three hours ago) intelligence, a monitoring anklet strapped to Lindsay Lohan hollered on Monday afternoon while answering the query: "Can this dumb bitch fuck up undertaking arrest?" But wait. It isn't what you over recall. LiLo didn't think she was a fine CrackGyver by trying to cut the yellow wire so she could do bath salts with her friends in the bathroom at Chateau Marmont. The anklet was flawed and went off by itself. When the cops arrived, they ground LiLo sunning on her roof surmount fill up while reading scripts. LiLo's attorney-at-law explained it to E!:
"Lindsay's electronic monitoring set went off on Monday. When a commissioner from the monitoring company went to her accessible, the representative found Lindsay there. The trappings was replaced the following day."
The "reading scripts" district was a dead giveaway. That's your parents walking in on you studying chem on your bed while two in plain sight hos holding a bottle of apple wine and a baggie of coke fur in your closet. LiLo should fling to make it a little more believable next fix. You know, they should walk in on her doing a vodka bong with Ali Lohan while Caucasoid Oprah gives a lap dance to a hired john in the corner.
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