The Hoff Takes Coachella!

When I senior heard Amy Wino was going to shower her meth loogies all settled Coachella, I was more than willing to fry my ass lips touched in the head to get a glimpse of her heroin twitch. Then it was announced that America wouldn't expose her in, so I put my coochie cutters away. And look at the whole shooting match I missed!
I mean, I could have witnessed The Hoff doing outrageous mouth things with some kind of creature who may that time have a nutsack dangling down below. Also, I could be dressed marveled at Kate Bosworth attempting to eat a shred of pizza, but not quite getting it. Methinks the gaunt bitch forgot how to swallow. Even Reese Witherspoon and her vital homegirl were there drinking out of coconuts! luxuriously, I think just Reese was. Jakey knew it was sympathetic of cliche for him to be sucking milky liquor out of a long tube.
But for those of us that didn't give out, it's a good fucking thing, because that skankwhoreuglytrampbitchcunt Wonky McValtrex was there to convey the HELL in Coachella. Those poor fools who were within a 2-mile radius of Wonky open in illegal acts (i.e. tongue fucking her dildo boyfriend) gamester take a trip down to the free clinic in front of their pores start leaking toxic pussy fluids.
Here's more celebwhores at Coachella yesterday including Kristin Cavawhogivesafuck, Tara Reid, Evan Rachel Wood's doppelganger and the ghost of Kurt Cobain.
original is here